Wednesday

A letter to an old friend.

You may not know this but every time I think of you, I think of home. My tears tell me how great my love was/is/will always be for you and I haven't got the slightest idea if you've spent even a single night fathoming about this. I need you to remember, darling, how happy we were. I need you to tell me you haven't forgotten.

Have you forgotten, darling? Sitting outside, in what felt like, the darkest part of the world (for me, for you), watching the orb grow brighter every night. Waiting for shooting stars so we could get another wish. Wishing I'd be with you on your adventures and you told me "perhaps, when you're older" and oh, if I only knew.

You spoke of bravery and taught me to be brave and I've always taken those things for granted. I thought I'd never have to need them. I thought you'd always be here. I thought you'd always be here to hold my hand. My coward heart. So weak. So vulnerable. Innocence -- no, FEAR kept me blinded. I never saw it coming. I never thought I could lose you when I have held you in my heart for so long.

I was hurt and I ached and I ache till now. But my tears tell me how much I still love you and yearn for you and need you. 

I've been told hundred of times to stop living in memories, but we were so happy there I couldn't let go. Night spent looking were childish, foolish, nonsensical & unsteady, but the loveliest even. Always and forever. Always and for all of eternity.

*I want to be 6 forever. You were my Peter Pan. Still you are.


For my grandfather.
Someone told me I can hold precious things in my heart.
You know it is where you'll always belong.

(small update: i had a fight with ian last week and it kept me in a very bad mood. but everything's well now :) except for the weather! ! ! the heat is killing me. i think i may die of heat stroke if this continues!!)

x haze x

16 comments:

  1. wow ganda ang sweet naman.. Sad but beautiful.

    The heat is killing me as well. Rain lovers like us do not enjoy this kind of weather. Have you seen the rain yesterday? I didn't I was at the mall and I feel really bad.

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    1. Mayen! Miss kita. Sorry, di na ko masyado gumagala sa mga blogs. Hehe.. Ay oo umambon ng onte dito.. :) ;) sana bukas nga ulit. Hehe.. ♥

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  2. Awww, your words touched my heart. :) I always feel at peace when I am in your blog. :)

    I love the rain, too! Group hug tayo under the rain. *ang drama* lol

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    1. Thank you so much ganda-ers. Nahiya naman ako. Hay, kelangan ko na talagang magcomment comment ulit. love love!

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  3. Thank you for your lovely comments. You are amazing *hugs*

    This post was beautiful and I remembered my Grandpa and cried a little.

    Love you so, so much <3

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    1. Always and forever, Peri.
      **Hugs**

      Love you too dear **

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  4. This is so beautiful and sad. You express yourself so eloquently, always. I wish I knew my grandparents better.

    (Ps, can you send some of your heat over to England? It is grey and gloomy over here, and I yearn for sunshine, warmth, summer.) x

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    1. Thank you, B. Grandparents are the best creatures in the world!!

      Aw! I would if I could dear!! I don't think I'd ever be satisfied with I have here and it makes me feel embarrassed sometimes. But it's really really very hot. Ahh!

      Grey clouds, oh! Care to trade places?

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  5. Awww. This is sweet and warm. I miss my grandpa too. He used to be my number one fan. Now I'm thinking of writing a post about him too.

    And I'm glad everything's okay bet'n you and Ian.:)

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    1. I would love to read it darling! Please, do write one :)

      Hehe.. Yeh, masyadong maikli buhay para mag-away ng mag-away, pero yun ang lagi naming ginagawa. Haha. Cute!

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  6. I hope I had a grand father like yours. I was touched with your words. Sad siya pero ang gandang basahin..

    Para nga akong nasa hell eh! kahit nga may aircon ang init parin. TC Haze.

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    1. Wah, thank you pearly shell! At dahil nagustohan mo sya, kutsara ka ata eh...... paparating ka palang napapa-nganga na ko. haha! Corny.

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  7. Aww... that is so sweet :-). I am glad you have such wonderful memories.

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    1. Thank you love ♥ And hello and welcome to my diary :)

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  8. This made me cry. I never met my grandpa. How I wish I did to receive warm hugs on cold Sunday mornings, and at night sit on the porch together gazing at the stars.
    You're lucky you had one.

    Hope you're well. x

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    1. It makes me feel so lucky, 'luckier' than many people because i get to meet my grandpa. He's a prince charming and my superman.

      Hope you're well too lili.

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It feels like my heart has been bewitched by you and is keeping track of time on it's own.