Tomorrow it will hurt less. And the day after that... 

and the day after that..

I used to write little messages onto pieces of paper and put them secretly into people's things. My best friend's locker, my brother's notebook, mom's drawer. And now, I only write to you. For you. Only you. (Only I don't have the guts to send them - yet.)

"if you are a bird, i am a bird"

november 18:

i will love you the way Noah loved Allie.

"even if my mind forgets, my heart will always remember"

happy sixth year anniversary, soulmate!

xx haze

"I dreamt that I could paint you with words, but there were no colors bright enough, black or white enough, blue or green enough…they didn’t mean enough."

Do you know this? Do you even know this?

*

Everything is moving too fast. I'm lost in time and it doesn't feel okay at all. I wish I could hold on to the days, feel every thing that's coming along, absorb every memories and laughter even though I don't create much  anymore. I am nothing more than a box of broken things, forgotten and rusted. And my only wish is that I could be more... more to you.

(Title quote by: Mos Def)

xx haze

"Sometimes I wish I wasn’t as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."

Today was overly thick eyeliners and roses made of papers. I watched the letters in the torn out petal pages silently forming your name. It made me think of you, the one and only thing I've been trying to avoid since morning.

xx haze

there's no need to say them.

Truth is, I don't know what to say. There is something in my heart hidden between the folds and pieces only I cannot find it yet. All I know is that it's something beautiful and worth keeping.

"...she smiles in an exhausted but warm sort of way, as though she is a brilliant sun in some other galaxy" - The Time Traveler's Wife